Words

Love.

Hate.

Perfect.

Those are strong words to use.

As kids, we used them all the time.

"I hate you, go away."

"I love my mommy."

"This is perfect!"

Then, we go an awkward period where saying "I love you" or "Thank you, it's perfect" simply isn't 'cool', it's simply too affectionate, and then, we seem to use 'hate' instead, as if we needed to fill a void.

"I hate the taste of it"

"That person just makes you want to hate them"

After we grow out of that, people seem to enter a stage that I'm experiencing. Where the words seem to slip in everywhere, anytime.

"They're so perfect!"

"Omigosh I'll love you forever if you get me those."

"Don't you just hate how good she looks today?"

And now, I feel left behind, stuck somewhere in between the stages.

I don't say "I love you" unless I really mean it, because to me, it's an insanely strong word.

The word "hate" on the other hand, isn't something I've truly felt for a while.

To use the word "perfect", or for it to be used on anything close to me, scares me. Perfection hardly ever exists. And even if it does, how long would it really last?

How long before cracks stretch across it, causing it so tumble down? It makes me feel obliged to make sure everything stays flawless, each and every detail.

(and I'm not ashamed)

So you see, I seem to be an anomaly.

I'm the odd one that won't say "I love you!" to a random friend, even if they say it;

I'm the weird one that looks a little panicked when anything related to her is described as 'perfect', 

the one that looks for faults in all her work.

I'm that girl that you'll hear saying "It's juts not my favorite subject" or "I don't quite like it".

I guess it'll stay this way for a while. 

Stay Strong&&Take Care

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